Grace is terrifying...
To know that I have absolutely nothing to do with my own salvation evokes a panic in me I find both ecstatically hopeful and dangerously peril at the same time. To escape this feeling of terror my inate desire is to immediately return to the boundaries and knowable do's and don'ts of the law. Grace knows no boundaries, it is complete freedom. The limits of grace are unknowable and I find that irresistably terrifying. Having barely glimpsed a moment grace, I barely understand and revel in it before I once again find myself back under the yoke of morality.
So drawn to the law am I, that I even begin to try to subject my understanding of grace itself to the law by thinking that I "should" understand it better. Beyond that thought, pride drives me to make an the understanding of grace into a "work" on my part. "Oh wretched man that I am, who will save me from this body of death? Thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord!."