Grace is terrifying...
To know that I have absolutely nothing to do with my own salvation evokes a panic in me I find both ecstatically hopeful and dangerously peril at the same time. To escape this feeling of terror my inate desire is to immediately return to the boundaries and knowable do's and don'ts of the law. Grace knows no boundaries, it is complete freedom. The limits of grace are unknowable and I find that irresistably terrifying. Having barely glimpsed a moment grace, I barely understand and revel in it before I once again find myself back under the yoke of morality.
So drawn to the law am I, that I even begin to try to subject my understanding of grace itself to the law by thinking that I "should" understand it better. Beyond that thought, pride drives me to make an the understanding of grace into a "work" on my part. "Oh wretched man that I am, who will save me from this body of death? Thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord!."
Monday, May 16, 2005
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Is it so much to want to rest in You?
Where am I, where am I going, is this the path You've taken me on?
To trust without tangible reason?
To leave everything behind?
All my hopes, all my dreams,
all of me.
To become one with You. The Lover of my soul.
To steal away with You for moments existing
just to stare into Your eyes
to look at Your face and know that I am loved?
I am unlovely, stained and broken,
how is it that You consider me with such favor.
You who lift my downcast eyes to look into Yours?
I am undone
Your grace has captured me.
I want nothing of me to remain
except that which is You
Make it so my Lord.
Where am I, where am I going, is this the path You've taken me on?
To trust without tangible reason?
To leave everything behind?
All my hopes, all my dreams,
all of me.
To become one with You. The Lover of my soul.
To steal away with You for moments existing
just to stare into Your eyes
to look at Your face and know that I am loved?
I am unlovely, stained and broken,
how is it that You consider me with such favor.
You who lift my downcast eyes to look into Yours?
I am undone
Your grace has captured me.
I want nothing of me to remain
except that which is You
Make it so my Lord.
Which way is up, which way is down
Lost somewhere in the middle
of this growing cycle
The Son draws me up, to see
an opaque image of Him
through the morning haze
I exist in the mist of His grace
He enlightens every particle
of light that is
dispersed through the air
Gasping for breath I grasp and
find it cannot be contained
It is enough that I am
created and that drops of
dew formed by His condensation
fall on me
Lost somewhere in the middle
of this growing cycle
The Son draws me up, to see
an opaque image of Him
through the morning haze
I exist in the mist of His grace
He enlightens every particle
of light that is
dispersed through the air
Gasping for breath I grasp and
find it cannot be contained
It is enough that I am
created and that drops of
dew formed by His condensation
fall on me
