My husband and I will have been married for 9 years this June, and think I'm finally coming to the realization that we’ve passed into another phase of love in our relationship. I decided that the time has come that I begin to learn what it is to “truly” love Jim. Of course, all of these years I have "loved" him, but I think it has taken the 11 years we've known each other for the "love" I thought I had toward him to be exhausted. Now it's time for me to really learn what it is to love.
There are four different types of love consented to; consequently the Greek knew of these types of love centuries ago and devised their own terminology, which we still see fit to use as a description. They are as follows:
Phileo – having tender affection toward another, phileo love is the “something” that draws you to another person
Storge – is the physical show of affection that results from affection felt through phileo, this includes hugs, kisses, and encouraging pats.
Eros – sexual desire or lust
Agape – this love enables us to love another for who they were created to be despite their faults and shortcomings.
I don’t believe many marriages venture into agape love, which is why most fail. I think there comes a turning point in each union where phileo, storge, and eros eventually all fall short. By the time this point comes both, individuals have exhausted their supplies of “love” and they begin to realize their needs are not being met. No matter how hard they try to muster “love” for their partner they begin to see the union as falling short of their expectations. At this place, depending the couples’ philosophy of marriage, they may try for varying periods of time to sustain the relationship based on duty, and hope. Some may spend countless hours attempting applying different angles of the existing “love” to make it work. Most of the time, falling prey to the selfish nature of humanity, they quit, although occasionally, (less so now then in the past) out of shear determination they exist the rest of their lives living out a “loveless” marriage. Herein lies my dilemma: unwilling as I am to muster the strength for living a loveless marriage, I am equally unwilling to part. What then? If I draw upon the wisdom of those I watched live years of a happy marriage, I must choose to move beyond the “love” that I have come to understand to a “more excellent way”.

Here is a poem written by the great-grandfather of our son Jamison. It comforting to consider that one day the divisions in our family that came about without the consenting will of all those involved will become of no importance.
Thank you for the poem.

I See The Truth

The grass was soft,
The evening warm,
There restful I did lie.
I asked God to speak to me.
He sent a firefly.

The air was still. There on the hill.
Great clouds in massive form.
I asked God to speak to me.
He sent a thunderstorm.

In sunshine or in darkness,
When life was good or bad,
There were times when I knew,
He was all I had.

One day I'll stand at Heaven's door.
There the Truth I'll see.
Jesus, With open arms
He waits to welcome me.

M. Tyacke

Teach me of thy grace
O, Father
that I might know
thy Truth
and of thy love that I
might not wander
but stay within thy fold

You care not that I'm
dressed in filth
that my face is covered in dirt
the tracks of tears that flow
You tenderly erase

Gather me unto Yourself
Bury me into Your chest
Whisper
everything will be alright
Rest my child rest

For My grace does not see
your worn and dirty clothes
nor does the smell
of refuse turn Me
from the heart of the child
I Created

Though you choose to wander
and eat from garbage pits
live in decay and squander
all I have given unto you
I will not to turn My
heart from you

I know your condition
I see the lies you have been told
and though you choose them above
My Word
I will not let go of you

There is nothing you can do
to change My love
I only see the heart of the
child that came begging to My throne
~ the rest is white as snow ~

At the moment you received My Name;
I caused old things to pass away,
and behold, I have made all things new

Because of what I gave
You are accepted
no work is required
"It is finished."

"As the branch cannot bear fruit of
itself, except it abide in the vine;
no more can you, except if you
abide in Me."
You cannot earn my love

I am the source of all righteousness
which flows from Me through you
The more you abide
the more fruit you will bear

"Come unto Me all who are weary
and heavy laden, and I will give you rest
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me;
for I am meek and lowly in heart:
and You will find rest for your soul
For my yoke is easy,
and my burden is light."