This is a letter to my sister who passed away from a cocaine overdose:

Dear Serene,

It's been three years as of tonight that you left. Words cannot express the pain I feel in my heart on some days at some moments. I miss you. So many things I never said, too many things I did.
Our family is broken. I can barely endure the sight of some of use living our lives the way we do, in spite of your death. I wish I could bring you back but I think our family wouldn't change. Your death didn't, and your resurrection wouldn't.
How I wish I could have made it different, made it better. I feel I failed you as an older sister in so many ways I couldn't protect you and he got you anyway. You knew the truth, but it's a long way from your head to your heart, isn't it? I know I couldn't have changed anything but the feelings of responsibility still fall to rest on my shoulders in my mind.
I didn't see your body but I imagine you slumped over. It's sad, so incredibly, utterly agonizing. We failed you, the truth was spoken in our home, but the actions were so far from it. The truth only making brief interjections into daily reality. We learned a lot about what we were supposed to do, not much about why we are driven to do it. A lot about the consequences of sin, but little about the grace and power of God that has already overcome it. Steeped in religion twisted with truth.
I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you. I can barely see to help myself, and even then it is only through what God has opened my eyes to. I crave to show truth to the rest of us, but I'm afraid we've spent so much of our lives drowing in deception there is little our eyes can see of real truth. Forgive us all. Your life was precious and I pray someday your death will be as well though in different ways.
We are so hopeless are we not? So far from God, so incredibly selfish and blind. He weeps daily for others like you, just as He wept for you. Even so, He weeps for those of us still here, for we are drowing in deception. We have all fallen short of God's glory, and like sheep have all gone astray. Each to his own way. God help us.
I have so much anger about your death. It seems so useless and completely worthless. Your life was taken, and for what? Nobody sees, nobody changes, we are all so selfish. We medicate, we forget, we purposely turn away.
I am afraid Satan has won this round but praise to God he hasn't won the game. God has given wisdom to those who seek, He does comfort those we are weary. We shall overcome. Death will be swallowed in life.
I miss you Renes!

Love Always,
Your big sis :-)
Daun

The sheep you have been called to tend are crying out
Incline your ear to their bleating

They look for water where there is none
and sleep in places of peril.

They are lost without direction for the
way laid before them is not clear.

The shepherd has lost his sight and stumbles
upond stones placed in his way.

Listen to the Master all you who hear His voice
let not your heart grow weary.

The sheep belong to the Master and He is their guidance.

Though they may scatter and the shepherd falter,
all belong to the Lord.

He knows each and calls them by name
to the place He has set for them.

Do not fear and let your heart not faint
for the Master has heard the crying of his lambs.